Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
someone owes me an orgasm
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
