So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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