You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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