stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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