I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
do herpes really smell.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
