she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
