Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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