Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
