Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
