you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
