i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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