He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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