at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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