Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
