got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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