Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
