i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
smell my finger.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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