In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
