im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
