How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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