HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
