I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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