Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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