I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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