Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
