omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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