physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
