3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
