I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
