Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i out mim tonsoeep
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