So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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