I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
