this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
