I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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