that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Four minutes until I can fart!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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