Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
