im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
