..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
