I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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