I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
