All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
