maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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