She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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