Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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