Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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