My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
