Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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