so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize