I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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