I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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