i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
