Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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