so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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