i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
