Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Please, let me fuck your mom
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
