Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize