We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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