If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
