Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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