yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
