My nipple is on Facebook.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
