she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
two words...techno handjob
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
