You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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