He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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