we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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