great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
