Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
