Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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