I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
