i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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