We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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