Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
